Open Topic

[#1]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and
women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart.

 FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week,
my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...

 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs
as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't
you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.

 The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at
a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair
for each outfit.'


We went on to the jewellery department where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was
so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's
fine, honey.'

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think
this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't
feel like it.'


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with
a baffled, 'WHAT?

I
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'


And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not
for the things I buy you?'


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at
least the bitch knows I'm smarter than her.